It has been over 20 years since Leo Bersani published “Is the Rectum a Grave?” in the journal October, and 15 years since we received his book Homos
At the same time, I return to Bersani each year as an historical measure of social movement (not to mention the ways I enjoy his sharp prose), and in Homos he is pointed about the social impact of AIDS:
“Nothing has made gay men more visible than AIDS. If we are looked at more than we have ever been looked at before–for the most part proudly by ourselves, sympathetically or malevolently by straight America–it is because AIDS has made us fascinating. […] The normal fear of homosexuality has been promoted to a compelling terror as a secret fantasy becomes a public spectacle: the spectacle of men dying…. Others may think of themselves as watching us disappear. The heightened visibility conferred on gay men by AIDS is the visibility of imminent death, of a promised invisibility. Straight America can rest its gaze on us, let us do out thing over and over in the media, because what our attentive fellow citizens see is the pathos and impotence of a doomed species.” (pp. 19-21)
While I continue to remember and think about those who I’ve known and lost, of the people I know who no longer worry about their “imminent deaths” because they can live long, healthy lives with HIV/AIDS, I am continually reminded of the cultural logic and views that continue to shroud this virus in shame–within LGBT communities as much, if not more, as our communities at large.
Today, and beyond, I encourage you to think about how you understand HIV & AIDS, to think about the things you have said or continue to say about (people with) HIV/AIDS, and to think about why and when you get tested and continue to get tested. What remains more important than paying lip-service to a day of remembrance or awareness is what you do to change the social (and sexual) landscape around you. Change the conversations you have about HIV/AIDS, even if this means you will have your first conversation on a topic that makes you uncomfortable.
My simple suggestion, which applies to so many people I know, is to start by considering the meaning of your online profiles. If your profile includes an option to disclose an HIV status, rather than simply stating “negative” or “positive,” I urge you to change your answer to “ask me.” If this makes you feel that others will perceive your status as something other than it is, that is the point. People often assume that someone is positive in a profile that does not declare a negative status. If it makes you uncomfortable, that is the point. We cannot change our conversations about HIV & AIDS unless we have conversations in the first place, and we cannot engage in healthy dialogue unless we consider where that begins–with us–thinking about how we think–thinking about how we can think in more productive and critical ways.
